Every few years the internet comes together for one universal tradition:

Predicting the death of PHP.

From the late 1990s till today, every tech critic at least once said:

• “PHP will die soon.”

• “PHP is outdated.”

• “Modern languages will replace PHP!”

• “WordPress is the last thing keeping PHP alive.”

And then…

PHP quietly drops another major version like:

“Hello, yes, I’m still alive. And thriving. And powering 76% of the web. Next question?”

Well, today is such a day, PHP 8.5 has officially arrived (20 Nov 2025), and it’s better, cleaner, smarter, and funnier than some developers on StackOverflow.

Let’s break down what’s new… with a smile 😄

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🎉 What’s New in PHP 8.5?

(And why critics need to calm down)

🔧 1. The Pipe Operator(|>)

This is basically PHP saying:

“You like chaining in JavaScript? Hold my chai.”

Now you can do this:

$result = $value
    |> trim(...)
    |> strtolower(...)
    |> htmlentities(...);

Your code becomes so clean, your future self will send you a thank-you WhatsApp message.

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🌐 2. A Brand New URI Extension

PHP can now parse and manipulate URLs using modern standards (RFC 3986 + WHATWG).

Meaning: No more writing long regex that you stole from StackOverflow in 2015.

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🎭 3. Clone Objects With Updated Properties

Instead of:

$blue2 = clone $blue;
$blue2->alpha = 128;

Now you can just do:

$blue2 = clone($blue, ['alpha' => 128]);

It feels like PHP finally hired a UX designer.

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🎯 4. #[\NoDiscard] Attribute

This one warns you if you ignore an important function’s return value.

It’s PHP shouting:

“Bro! I calculated something for you. At least USE it!”

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🧰 5. array_first() & array_last()

Admit it, You’ve written these functions manually at least 20 times in your life.

PHP finally decided to save us all from ourselves.

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🪲 6. Better Backtraces for Fatal Errors

Now when your app breaks at 2 AM during production deployment, PHP will show a clearer backtrace.

Not that this prevents pain,

but at least you’ll cry with more information.

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🌱 Why PHP Still Rocks (And Will Keep Rocking)

Critics have been predicting PHP’s death since:

• Dial-up internet

• Yahoo chat rooms

• Nokia 3310

• Windows XP

• Orkut

• And the first “PHP is dying” blog post in 2001 😂

But here we are in 2025, and PHP still:

• Powers most of the web

• Runs WordPress (which powers 43% of all websites)

• Evolved massively (8.x upgrades are no joke)

• Keeps adding modern features

• Is used in enterprise apps, clouds, and SaaS

• Has one of the most stable ecosystems

And now with 8.5, it’s fresher than ever.

PHP isn’t dying, my friend.

It’s like a South Indian hero in movies:

they get hit, they fall, everyone thinks it’s over…

and then they get up stronger and punch the villain into the sky.

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🧭 Should You Upgrade?

Short answer: YES (after testing).

Long answer: YESSSSSS, but keep these in mind:

• Some old type-casts are deprecated

• Backtick operator is deprecated

• Extensions need updates

• Composer libraries should support 8.5

• Check WordPress plugin/theme compatibility

• Always test in staging (please…)

If you’re running your own projects like Arun360.com blog, try starting with PHP 8.5 from day one.

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🤘 Final Thoughts

PHP 8.5 is a solid release-cleaner code, faster systems, safer APIs, and features that actually make development enjoyable.

And about PHP dying?

Nope. Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Not anytime before 2050.

Meanwhile, new languages will come and go…

But PHP keeps drinking coconut water, upgrading itself, and living its evergreen life.

Just like Rajinikanth – age is just a number.